date a boy who wears shoes that light up
OK NO BUT WHEN I WENT TO PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOL, THERE WAS A DUDE WHO HAD LEGIT LIGHT UP SNEAKERS AND THIS GIRL WENT UP TO HIM AND ASKED HIM OUT BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT HIS SHOES WERE THE COOLEST GOD DAMN THING AND THEY WENT TO PROM TOGETHER AND THEY HAVEN’T BROKEN UP FOR 3 YEARS NOW ALL BECAUSE OF THIS KID’S GOD DAMN LIGHT UP SNEAKERS
<How to Get a Boyfriend>
- Order a cup of coffee to take-out.
- Give the coffee to a male you are interested in and tell him, “If the coffee tastes good, we date; if not, bug off.”
- The coffee at our café is good. It is guaranteed that you will end up dating.
- If, by chance, you get dumped, then come back. We will give you a cup of hot coffee that you can pour on his face.
when I was like 9 my neighbors asked me to watch their fish and cat while they went on vacation and I was like “lol k” and while they were gone tHE FUCKING FISH DIED so when they got home I apologized to the mom and she was just like “no need to apologize, I turned the filter off so they would die because they are too much work. You did nothing wrong” and she gave me 20 bucks and that is the story of my first contracted murder
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